Simply put. This is the most amazing Craigslist personals ad we have ever come across to date. Complete with perfectly mangled spellings of common words...

"would like a fit guy to help motovate me to loose weight"

A delightfully skewed sense of priorities...

"my son gets released to me Oct 19th...then i can really do whatever i want. or what you want...hint hint"

And absolutely tragic over-sharing... 

"im trying to save up for plastic surgery (my pregnancy fucked me up)"

We are seriously considering making four episodes from this one post alone. Please. Enjoy responsibly.

SUBMIT YOUR CRAIGSLIST FINDS

i know what i want. any takers?

los angeles craigslist > antelope valley > personals > women seeking men

Date: 2009-09-17, 12:34pm PDT

Ok heres the deal and straight to the point.

I want to be spoiled.

buy me everything i want and don't bitch about it

you have to have a car and your own house

no living with your parents while finishing college crap.

have a good job that doesnt include do you want fries with that.

i have a son, a two year old and i need him to be taken care of as well.

i'll cook, i'll clean and be your slave,

as long as i get what i want.

Im currently wrapped up in the foster system

my daddy left me to rot here in CA by myself. yay me.

Im 18, sometimes i act like it sometimes i dont.

Im grown up when i have to be but i miss the party life i had

before my son.

i love my son more than anything but i get tired of being a single teen mother.

I want to start my own bakery and need a guy thats willing to help me.

with the money not the baking of course. 

i dont care if you have crazy ex wifes or kids.

i can handle it.

I need to get my drivers license and reeaally need a car.

but i cant just run off im stuck here till they give me my son

and let me out of foster care.

my son gets released to me Oct 19th..

then i can really do whatever i want.

or what you want...hint hint.

im trying to save up for plastic surgery (my pregnancy fucked me up)

and would like a fat guy to help motovate me to loose weight.

i have tattoos. i love them.

you dont then screw you.

and dont let this message fool you,

im a very positive laidback cool girl

sometimes i think im part ninja...i know awesome right.

and im tired of living this shitty life

and im trying to find a way out of it.

So to recap.

If your a financially stable attractive white male who wants to spoil me and my son

email me.

I know what i want and I'm going to get it.

in return you get what you want.

With luv

C.E.B.

SUBMIT YOUR CRAIGSLIST FINDS